They love me. 8 year old boys, that is.
If only the boys had loved me as much in grade 3 as they do now, I'd have been queen of the schoolyard. As my mother told me at least 40,000 times, "No one ever said life is fair."
I've finally figured out (better late than never) what makes the male homo sapiens tick.
Yes, it's methane that makes them tick, burble, grunt, explode and giggle like crazy.
Flatulence, it seems, is the universal language of the male. This powerful non-verbal communication method predates symbolic thought and rational discourse. In the same way that laughter communicates safety to the herd, and yawns transfer sleepiness, the fellas send eachother updates of emotional states and hunting prospects via backside aromatics.
With gas being so important to boys, no wonder they love to talk about farts. And anything that relates, no matter how tangentially, to farts. Underwear. Cheese. Alien arm-wrestling.
It took me a long time (one husband and two sons) to figure out this elemental connection. But once I got it, I've been able to reach a niche market - boy readers. The Looney Bay All-Stars series, although it features girls in many prominent roles, appealed mostly to boys. Science on the Loose, with its Famous Fart Experiment, made me an instant celebrity with the Grade 3-6 guys.
When I wrote The Quiz Book for Boys, I pulled out all the stops. I put in as much vaporous silliness as I could. As well as zombies with stinky feet, spy stuff, supervillains, weird tests, and disgustingly poor dental hygiene. The result? One darn funny book that I know boys - and girls - will like.
I see a sticky note from my husband attached to the "How Well Do You Know Your NHL Hockey?" quiz. He says he scored "Hockey Star." There was a smiley face on the note.
The Quiz Book for Boys is published by Scholastic Canada in French and English. It's available in Canadian bookstores now and on-line through all the major players.